What not to expect when you're expecting

Tying the knot (and I don't mean marriage or the umbilicus)

But maybe you should name your boy Sue: what's not in a name

The best thesaurus is a human thesaurus: how to read to your kids

Practicing the delicate arts of extortion and bribery (how else are American children supposed to catch up to the Finnish people in math?)

Get them the puppy! Get them the puppy!

Shut the f* up, Dad! Discipline (or lack thereof)

Turn your feral child into a nice American capitalist (you know you want to)

If it's organic, don't panic and other tips I learned in Berkeley for drugging one's kids

Go ahead and get divorced, your kids' genes will never notice.